I get by with a little help from my friends

Soaring stress levels.

Out of control food cravings.

Fear.

Doubt.

Fits of laughter only brought on by panic.

I can only say thank you to my friends and family who have put up with me over the past 2 weeks. I don't even know how I put up with myself!

My co-residents were amazing and had to deal with my insecurities 8 hours a day at work. Virginia brought me homemade pickles. Mmmmmm.... pickles. Tristan brought cookies that Michelle made. Mmmmmm.... cookies. Tara and Meghan enabled my addiction to salty and sweet treats in our office. I got high fives and encouragement in the weeks leading up to my exams.

Sunday night, my paralyzing fear was briefly lifted with Amanda's revelation that she wanted this to be her future pet:

I don't think I have ever laughed so hard in my entire life. I thought the picture had been photoshopped. She informed me that this was a Maine Coon cat. Again I thought that it was a fantasy animal like a unicorn or a liger:

Deb: What are you drawing?
Napoleon Dynamite: A liger.
Deb: What's a liger?
Napoleon Dynamite: It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic.



So yeah, the Maine Coon is the real deal and I'm not going to lie, it would scare the crap out of me. It would need its own seat at the dinner table and I think you'd have to register it as an exotic pet.

I took the exam on Monday afternoon, went to my car and cried because I swore I just failed. Adam consoled me with PF Changs and a trip to the apartment swimming pool. And then I waited.

I wasn't very patient. I called the board of pharmacy on Tuesday morning to see if I had passed. The man on the other end sounded annoyed and told me to wait 3 business days. No way, Jose. I'd be calling the next day.

Today, I held back my insane urges to repeatedly call the board.... until lunch time. Then I made Virginia do it. :) I think I blacked out until I heard the words, "Ok, thanks, and what is her license number?" A license number means I passed!

I'm official. It feels great.

This says it all

Deming has got the right idea. It's sleep time.

12 hours and counting.... tick tock.

Dreams of Parkinson's related treatments and overdose antidotes shall greet me when my head hits the pillow in 5, 4, 3, 2, Zzzzz...............

Panic sets in

Walls are closing in on me and I am wearing panic like a jacket. It's not a very fashionable jacket mind you - It's uncomfortable and it's tight. I can't wait until Monday afternoon when I can take it off.

Why?
The NAPLEX (licensing exam) is in 1.5 days.
Dun dun dun.

I am mildly freaking out, but trying to control the urge to run out of my apartment screaming with several things:

• The Meatloaf 'Bat ouf of Hell' CD from 1977
• A bubble bath
• The realization that 93% of people pass this test - I have a pulse and paid attention in class therefore I should pass
• A candle from Bath and Body Works
• An inhaler
• Watching my cat have active dreams like a dog
• Watching this video for the millionth time (it just doesn't get old)
  

Enough with the delays... back to studying.

Wish me luck and pray that the information which has gotten lost in the cracks and recesses of my brain somehow finds its way out on Monday.

(FYI: I did pass my law exam!)

Does she have a manual?

When cat ownership was suddenly thrust upon me last December, I was kind of excited about it. Ok, that's an understatement. I was really really excited about it.

Look at this face:

Deming looks so calm.
So innocent.
I should have known better.

This was the cat who was determined to get her way and live with the people she stalked at the apartment complex. The cat who MacGyvered her way into the trunk of my car when we left Savannah for Phoenix. The cat who wedged herself in my wheel well for 3 days for a cross country road trip.

Have you ever tried to train a cat?
Bwahahahahaha.
There is no training a cat.

For the most part, she's a good kitty, but when her attention seeking switch gets flipped Deming changes from calm, cool, and collected, to LOOK AT ME!

There are a few things I've learned over the past 7 months:

• If I make sure her food bowl is full before bedtime, I avoid the uncomfortable eyeball lick at 3 am. Yes, you read that correctly. If she's hungry in the middle of the night she licks my eye. Fantastic.

• Paper products = catnip. You know the excuse, "My dog ate my homework?" It's true in this case. She will chow down on books, bills, and cardboard boxes. If anything is at all important, it had better be put in a drawer. In fact, as I write this, she's eating my research proposal paper.

• We find the TV fascinating and so does she although she doesn't really watch it. She could care less about what is on the boob tube. Deming wants to sit in front of it. And then she wants to paw at it which thrills Adam to no end (note the sarcasm).

• Cabinet doors are the best play things. I know she's bored when I hear, "Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!" She usually doesn't go inside of the cupboards, she just wants to let us know that she's around and wants entertainment. And she knows it's wrong. She'll bang on a cupboard then peek around the corner to see if we are paying attention.

• Just like us, she likes to be snuggly in blankets. You have to be careful not to accidentally sit on her.
  

• If bedroom doors aren't fully closed she will open them. If they won't open, she'll just keep trying. This results in more of the "Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!" noises we know and love.

• Deming forgets where she is sometimes and falls off windowsills or backs of chairs. Then she tries to act all cool like, yeah I meant to do that. At least I know she's my cat. We're both terribly clumsy.
  

This cat is trouble. But we love her just the same. Most days.

(Betty, the bullet points were for you.)

Snack Happy Web Surfer

Everyone deals with stress differently. Some people shop while others do productive things like exercise. Eating and avoidance top my list of coping skills.

When something important is looming over my head I can suddenly tell you EVERYTHING that is going on in the world because I triple-check every website at least 5 times an hour. I could probably give you an up to date account of the weather conditions in Sydney, tell you the makeups and breakups of celebrity couples, and also give you 21 tips for new home buyers. I can't help myself. It's a sickness.

Web surfing wouldn't be complete for me if I didn't have something to munch on. Munching = shoveling random foods into my face. You know how pregnant women get cravings? I get those too as my stress levels increase. I'll decide that a box of pasta sounds good. And some ice cream. And some olives. And a handful of peanuts. And pancakes. You get the picture. Not gonna lie, it gets crazy around here and you don't want to get in my way.

On a scale of 1 to 10 my stress level is an 11 right now (hence the blogging distraction). Two exams currently block my path to freedom: Kentucky law and the NAPLEX. These two tests will strike fear into any graduated pharmacists soul. If you pass, you are official. If you fail... well... you just don't want to do that.

I took my law exam yesterday and it was absolutely horrible. And now I wait. The state will send me a letter sometime in the next week or so letting me know my fate. I am kind of OCD about checking the mail at this point.

In 9 days I take the NAPLEX. It's the clinical portion of the exams. It frightens me. Big time. However, if you live anywhere close to me you could use this to your advantage because I am cooking up a storm. Crockpots are full and baking pans are being utilized to the max.

Don't worry, I've got Tums on standby.

I met someone today

~ Humankind cannot bear very much reality. ~ T.S. Eliot

Yesterday I got paid. I stared at my bank account feeling quite giddy. I had been patiently awaiting the arrival of my first official paycheck for a long time now. Three years to be exact.

That money had plans.
Very specific plans.
Plans that had me squirming in anticipation.

Was I going to go on a frivolous spending spree?
Not a chance.

An expensive celebratory dinner?
Nope.

I was going to get a membership at Sam's Club.

There moments in your life when you realize that something has changed. I realized that I had officially become an adult the moment I found myself more excited about a membership to a store where I could buy 10lb cans of applesauce than the prospect of buying a new wardrobe.

*Sigh*

Anyhow, I figured that after I paid off my outstanding bills, I'd have a few hundred dollars left to spend at the Sam's superstore. I was looking forward to coming home with more meat than I knew what to do with and perhaps enough toilet paper to supply the entire apartment complex.

Alas, today I was introduced to someone.

Bri, meet Reality.

I thought I was ready for Reality. I had been prepping myself for this meeting for a long time, but never knew when she would arrive.

Reality stepped into my home this morning and smugly let me know that I had forgotten about a bill which required the remaining portion of my paycheck - and $30 more. Crap. She wasn't nice about it. She didn't sugar coat it. She wanted that money and she wanted it now.

So now Sam's club will have to wait and I will continue to eat ramen and eggs for dinner with the occasional box of Mac 'N Cheese for good measure.

Go away Reality. It turns out I'm not ready for you yet.

Do we have __________?

Right now our townhouse is looking pretty darn spiffy. Most things are in their rightful place. We even splurged on a couch cover as evidenced in the photo below.


Let it be noted that this couch cover shifts every time you sit on or even just look at it. I am always adjusting it back into place, but it still beats the pepto. The chairs are still a work in progress...

I am now at the point where I find myself looking for things that I know we had at some point along the way. Things that are not hugely important, but could really help out. An air pump to inflate a basketball, for example. Why would I have just thrown that away? No idea, but now we don't have one. Same goes for the food strainer. Who on earth knows where that went.

What we do have on the other hand, are two irons. Because that seems necessary. Oh, and THREE hair straighteners. I have a feeling I am going to be making a phone call to my mom tomorrow asking her if I was a kleptomaniac when I left their house.

There are some things that we don't have yet, nor have we ever owned. Like patio furniture. We have a glorious deck with nothing to put on it.


The other day I got desperate and dragged one of the pink living room chairs out there. I am nothing but a classy lady.

Sooner or later we'll get around to buying the stuff we need and getting rid of one of the irons... unless me and Adam decide to get wild and crazy and have a head-to-head ironing competition. Then we'll be set.

I'm new - don't judge

There are a lot of things I need to learn about my new surroundings. Specifically at my job. People see my white coat and assume I am the gatekeeper to all of the information they need. Let me tell you, that is not the case. When I can find my way from my office to the lunchroom without getting lost in a linen closet I silently cheer.

Usually when I walk into a room, I am bombarded with lots of questions that I cannot answer.

"When am I leaving?"
"Can I get a wheelchair?"
"Why can't I get my pain meds now?"
"Will you get me another shirt? This one is too small."

Sometimes the questions are awesomely ridiculous:
Walking onto the 3rd floor a nurse hollers down the hallway, "Who stepped in poop?!?!"
As long as it wasn't me, I am cool with it. *Quick shoe check.* Nope not me.

Seriously folks, at this point I am lucky if I can remember the code that lets me back into the pharmacy area. I have no idea what is on the patient lunch menu or why it smells funny in the hallway. I wish I did. It would make my life so much easier. But at this point, I just have to smile and shrug.

Yesterday I had to do a patient admission interview. Fairly routine at this point. I walk down the hallway and as I am ready to confidently walk into the patient's room, I am greeted with something unfamiliar: The red tape.

I don't know much, but I know that red tape in a room means, "Don't cross me without proper personal protection." Ok, I can handle this. I just need to find a gown and gloves. I do a 360 and try to figure out where I would get such items. After about 3 minutes of looking, I see a nurse down the hallway. I run up to her and ask her where I should go to get gowned and gloved. "The patient's door," she replied. Ohhhhhhh, I see. She means the door I stood in front of for 3 minutes completely bewildered.

Fantastic. I now have the gown in my hands and I open it up feeling victorious. Now was my second problem: which way does the gown go on? Crap. I have watched enough episodes of ER to figure this out, right? Hmmmmm.... do I put it on like a jacket, or like a patient gown with the open back? Once again, I run down the hallway to ask the same very nice, extremely patient nurse what I should do. "Back open," she informs me. I thanked her and went along my merry way feeling a little dumb, but at least with my gown on the right way.

Week two of my new gig is now complete. I'm learning a lot along the way, but for now I am still new, so please don't judge me. And if you do judge, please do it silently.