Offensive

Wednesday morning I woke up early - Not because I wanted to, but because my nose was assaulted by something akin to the smell of burning rubber. My first reaction was to blame the cat. Maybe she didn't bury something that she should have. I peeked into the litter box and Deming was cleared of any wrong doing. Walking down the stairs, I scrunched my face as the smell grew stronger. I opened the bathroom door and the same smell, but stronger this time, punched me in the face. Huh. Weird. I hollered at Adam to check it out when he woke up, then opened the door which leads to our garage. Bam. Another smell-slap.

By the time I got to work, I had concerns that:
#1: Something was wrong with my car. Perhaps a belt or something was rubbing against something else and causing a horrid stench.
or
#2: Some sort of gas was leaking into our apartment.

When I got to work, I started to think that I smelled funny as well. My co-workers (they are the best) did a sniff test, and yes, something was off. Crap. Now I was the smelly one at work and I still didn't know what the cause was.

Apartment maintenance came to the apartment to help sort out the mystery. The man took one step into our apartment and said, "Smells like skunk - you must have hit one."

Ah ha! That would make some sense - I had driven out to the airport on Tuesday night and probably ran over some roadkill. When I got home from work Wednesday night, I parked my car outside (instead of in the garage) satisfied that the problem would be solved with my car getting some fresh air. I walked to my front door and was taken aback that even with the windows having been open all day, I could still smell the offensive odor without stepping inside. Huh. Interesting.

Thursday the smell would come and go. Actually it didn't really go anywhere. It was more like it was bad and then worse. It had to subside soon, right?

Friday maintenance came by again. At this point our neighbors had complained as well. They had walked around our building looking for signs of a skunk and found nothing. Then they said, "Oh wait. What is that crevice under your porch - a skunk den?" Ah yes, a skunk den. Mr. skunk was letting off bombs at it's leisure and the smell was seeping through the entire apartment.

I woke up Saturday morning, made a cup of coffee, and decided to check out this skunk hole. Stepping outside, I first noticed the hole, then right next to it a live trap. "Cool," I thought. I leaned closer to check it out. It was mostly wrapped in black plastic (to prevent spraying, I assumed). It wasn't until I had my face 6 inches away from the trap that I noticed that something was inside of it. (Yes, I realize the fact that the trap door was closed should have been my first clue, but I hadn't had my coffee yet.) I jumped backwards and then strained to see what was inside. I saw a black and white tail. Frick. That's all I needed to see. I called maintenance and at some point today it was taken away and another trap was left in its place.

It was living in that tiny space under our stoop.

If you look closely in the red box, you can see the tip of its white tail.
I was standing on the wrong end of this animal when this picture was taken.

I hope beyond all hopes that this smell goes away before Thanksgiving. However, worst case scenario, who doesn't like to enjoy their turkey with the lingering smell of burning rubber?

Hibernation

I figured out what happens to all of the bugs outside when it gets colder: They come into my apartment.

What should have tipped me off to the coming infestation were the wolf spiders that showed up a few weeks back. Need a reminder? Click here. *Shudder* If something as big as those things could creep into my house, how did I convince myself that nothing else would?

My hopes for a bug-free household were destroyed this past 5 days. It was an insect plague. Each day brought a whole new wave of creatures into my home.

Day 1: Horseflies
I wish I could say I had super skills and snatched them from midair with chopsticks, but in fact it was a whole lot easier than that. They showed up seeming intoxicated. I could just walk over to them and pick them up. No resistance. My apartment must have fly roofies? Weird.

Day 2: Ladybugs
I found the first one and it made me smile. They are a kind of cute. One kind of insect that doesn't send me screaming through the hallways. Then I found the second, third, fifth, twentieth... What tipped me over the edge was when I pulled back a curtain to let some natural light inside and one flew out and hit me in the face. I screamed loudly. Someone needs to teach that ladybug some manners.

Day 3: Millipedes
I found three of these lovelies crawling through my carpet with the help of super kitty. Sick.

Day 4: House cricket
This one was drugged as well. Just laying in the middle of my kitchen hanging out. Waiting for a friend, perhaps?

Day 5: Hornet
Ok, so this one didn't get inside of my apartment, but it wanted to. It followed me from my garage and up the stairs while I swung my arms around and screamed. I ran back down the stairs to the open air and shooed it away. My house was already at full capacity. If that hornet came in, a fire marshall would have shown up on my doorstep slapping me with a fine for letting this party get out of control.

Knock on wood, but I believe the trails of critters have stopped trying to make my home their winter bungalow. Wish me luck.

Cantankerous

Today, I paused in a patient's doorway after noticing the curtain around his bed was partially closed. Generally this closed curtain indicates there is something going on behind it that I don't need/want to see. After a moment more, I realized the patient was trying to change into his street clothes, and it wasn't as easy as he anticipated. His legs were wrapped to help with swelling and the pants which fit perfectly on the way into the hospital now were extra snug around the legs and difficult to get into. A woman, also behind the curtain, was attempting to assist the gentleman and was met with some resistance.

Man: "Just take the bandages off."

Woman: "No, dear. The doctor told you to wear them and you will wear them."

Man: "I will do whatever I damn well please."

Woman: *Laughing* "You will wear these bandages. Now where is your shirt?"

Man: "Underneath that pile of s*** over there."

At that point I must have crinkled the bag of prescriptions and alerted the couple to my presence.

Man: "Come on in, join the party. I can't get my damn shoe on because of these bandages."

His wife smiled.

Woman: "You married, dear?"

Me: "No, ma'am."

Woman: Chuckling and patting her husband's shoulder, "Well, this is what you have to look forward to someday. He's a cantankerous man."

We all laughed and I proceeded to give my discharge instructions so they could get back to their shoe situation.

Me: "You listen to your wife, ok? She seems to take real good care of you."

Man: *Winks* "I suppose she does."

They shared a look that can only be shared between two people who have lived long and loved hard. She knelt down to help him with his shoe. It was clear that without question, she would take care of that "cantankerous man" and he would gladly let her.